Praise... sometimes hard to give but very effective

This is something that I’ve been thinking about since I came to work in London. Although my role covers other things than youth work it is within this part of the job that I’ve had to learn most quickly. I mentioned previously in my Blog that the young people were very much affected by a gang like culture that surrounds some of London’s suburbs. Just the other day a 51yr old woman was stabbed in the back of the neck by a sixteen year old male. Steve and Helen a young couple who work at church.co.uk were mugged on Monday night whilst walking home. Luckily, neither of them was injured but Helen had her bag stolen and with it her phone, mp3 player and wallet. Although they were shaken they were more saddened by the fact that within the group males that circled around them there were 11 and 12 year olds…. Very often it’s the younger members in gangs that commit the offences because they are trying to establish themselves.

I think I’ve benefited from being able to approach work with some of the young people here without any background knowledge. Although at university I was taught about the importance of background information as protection, in this situation it might have been a negative thing. Had I known that I was going to be working with young people who were in gangs and had been involved in serious violence my approach would have definitely changed (I probably would have been more reserved and slightly fearful). However, instead I’ve met some terrific young people who show all sorts of potential. The fact that I later hear they were involved in serious gang crime doesn’t distort my picture of them as a great person. It was discussed at uni last year that sometimes focusing too much on people’s past stops us seeing their future potential…. I’ve developed a real heart for these young people. I’ve found that they respond so positively to praise, more so than I’ve experienced in the past. Could this be that they’ve lacked encouragement in the different area’s of their lives….

One of the youngsters mum’s is a really good cook, she brought these samosas for us one week and they were amazing. I told the lad last night that his mum’s cooking was amazing…. he grew the biggest grin on his face. I’ve always found that praising people is one of the most effective methods of relationship building but I realise that it’s not something everyone finds easy to do. From a young age I’ve always responded to praise so I figure that some other young people will also respond well to praise. Everyone has or does something that offers the opportunity for constructive praise…. Do it and potentially change someone’s life.