I'm well aware that my Blog is a mass of confused thoughts and that when i look back on it I'll realise how I've contradicted myself. But i think that contradiction is great thing....I've been completely honest in this Blog and therefore the people reading have been given an opportunity to share in my journey....i hope that it may have also ignited some reflection in people. Blogs will be read by people who you never meet and it's wonderful to think that in some way they might relate to what is being said. I believe an honest Blog is one that will connect with people and that is why I'm going to offer this confession......
Monday 23rd April, a training day for me where my team we're being taught how to teach sex education in Schools. This was a great opportunity for reflecting on teenage crisis and in some way trying to re-connect ourselves with being thirteen. (not quite sure why i started on about this topic - not really sure how to get out of it).......On Monday evenings i make a fifty minute journey up to Essex to help plant an Oasis youth club. As i got ready to leave for Enfield (Essex) i received a text from my sister: "Andrew, have you forgotten something?".....it suddenly hit me that her birthday was the 24th April (the next day) and i had totally forgotten. I text back quickly: "No I've not forgotten. It;s your birthday tomorrow!". Cat replied: "Andrew you dope, my birthday is today!". For the first time in twenty years (rough estimate) i had forgotten my sisters birthday and i felt terrible. Especially since Cat is always so good at remembering my birthday....in fact Cat always buys me the best gifts.
I never want this Blog to appear as me sitting on my 'good boy' pedestal writing about the perfect church and world changing work. The reality is that my family mean more to me than anything I've ever written in this Blog. To have become so detached that i forgot my sisters Birthday bothers me a lot. Daily i act as a role model for young people and daily i consider how to have a more positive impact on the community i work within....However, if i could only impact one area of the community i would impact families. To appreciate one another by remembering their birthdays, using and practicing love as a natural daily thing. I have no doubt that the struggle existing within communities is partly down to family breakdown.....
Apologies Cat.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
feeling accepted in church....is this a common thing?
One of the favourite parts of my job is meeting new people who come along to the church. Mostly we find that the people interested in what we do are people who have had a negative experience of church and have taken time out to reflect on what to do next.....over the last two weekends I've been getting to know a couple who are really unsure about church as they've had many an unhappy experience. I'll call them Harold and Madge for the purposes of confidentiality and they are truly great people. Harold would class himself as an atheist and Madge has grown up in a christian family attending church all her life. Despite their difference in belief they are very much in love and it's great to be around them.
They have been worried how churches would react to their relationship and therefore not attended. Isn't it awful that people would be worried about attending a church because of how they will be judged....when they heard about church.co.uk they decided to attend aware of our inclusive ethos. I think we sometimes underestimate how much it means to people when they are accepted for who they are. Harold in the two weeks he has attended 'head space' our evening service has become really encouraged by the idea of church. He likes the idea of a church community that is more concerned with supporting each other practically, rather than one that only teaches the bible. Our approach in head space is to reach out to all people and as a result we've developed a service that allows people time to reflect on their lives and how they can make more time for themselves and others.
I feel so encouraged that Harold, Madge and others have found a place where they can be comfortable with who they are....in society we are always conforming to demands but in church we should be able to come as we are and feel fine about that. This is called being 'inclusive' it's challenging because when people come as they are they smell, they swear, their drunk.....they cry. As a people are we willing to include people like this into our groups? Right now it's easier for me because it's my job to be inclusive. I hope that after the job is over i will continue to be inclusive and accepting of people. There has been discussion between me and my boss that after this year i will struggle to find another church. The struggle will exist because there are small number of churches in the country who are similar to Church.co.uk.....i hope this changes. If you want to read more about what inclusive church looks like then read "the intelligent church" by Steve Chalke. A great book which is truly inspiring for Christians and non-Christians alike.
They have been worried how churches would react to their relationship and therefore not attended. Isn't it awful that people would be worried about attending a church because of how they will be judged....when they heard about church.co.uk they decided to attend aware of our inclusive ethos. I think we sometimes underestimate how much it means to people when they are accepted for who they are. Harold in the two weeks he has attended 'head space' our evening service has become really encouraged by the idea of church. He likes the idea of a church community that is more concerned with supporting each other practically, rather than one that only teaches the bible. Our approach in head space is to reach out to all people and as a result we've developed a service that allows people time to reflect on their lives and how they can make more time for themselves and others.
I feel so encouraged that Harold, Madge and others have found a place where they can be comfortable with who they are....in society we are always conforming to demands but in church we should be able to come as we are and feel fine about that. This is called being 'inclusive' it's challenging because when people come as they are they smell, they swear, their drunk.....they cry. As a people are we willing to include people like this into our groups? Right now it's easier for me because it's my job to be inclusive. I hope that after the job is over i will continue to be inclusive and accepting of people. There has been discussion between me and my boss that after this year i will struggle to find another church. The struggle will exist because there are small number of churches in the country who are similar to Church.co.uk.....i hope this changes. If you want to read more about what inclusive church looks like then read "the intelligent church" by Steve Chalke. A great book which is truly inspiring for Christians and non-Christians alike.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
caring for a number needing more care than i can give
It's sprummer (a word made up of spring and summer) in London. I've noticed a change in the people, their happier. I wonder whether London sits dormant during winter anticipating the burst of summer. In the space of a few weeks my attitude towards this place has changed. After work we go to Bishops park and play football with some of the young people. There is talk of barbecues and drinking cold beer in the garden.....The youth work I'm doing has taken on a different shape in that we can now make use of the outdoors. No longer are our resources subject to what we can do in a church sports hall. Now we can take groups of kids to the park to play softball and football. Throughout winter parks looked dull disused spaces but now the parks are coming to life with groups of people engaging in sporting activities.
At Kids Hub (kids club) yesterday we took the young people to the park for the first time this year. It was a great idea because in the space we could allow them freedom to enjoy themselves. In a building there are so many restrictions, especially for kids where electrical equipment, stairs, kitchens etc pose such a hazard. Most of the boys opted to play football at the park and so a game of 'no out of play' jumpers for goals football ensued. I takes me back to watch fifteen boys cluster around one ball all battling for possession (even if their on the same team). It also make me laugh to watch the game use up so much space. No matter where the girls played soft ball the boys would end up running onto their turf. With a lack of sidelines the game has a flowing freedom but also a frustrating disorganisation. Sadly, during the football an argument erupted between two of the boys and i stepped in to stop it. However, the result of my intervention was that one of the boys turned on me and began to tell me to get out of his face (this was coming from an 11year old).....I 'got out of his space' quickly and my team mate stepped in. It was a really negative experience for me because he explained to my team mate that he felt i was always on his back and he really didn't want to be around me. What also affected me was the way he was speaking. He sounded more like an adult in the sense that he was telling me to get away before he did something bad. I didn't feel worried for my safety but I'm not totally comfortable with conflict and didn't have the opportunity to put the situation right. I think he's a great kid but he does misbehave a lot and so as a leader i feel a responsibility to step in. Maybe it's been a good learning experience for me because being a leader means that you will be asked to deal with conflict. At the de-brief session afterwards me and my team discussed his behaviour and we discovered that his mum and dad had split up in recent weeks.....
We don't have the benefit of background information at Kids Hub, which means that we often treat kids as a group and not individual cases. I would not be lying if i said that most of the kids at our club exist in a mass of poverty, social exclusion and family breakdown. It is so difficult to find the balance between caring and disciplining problematic behaviour. All year I've been trying to adjust my approach to enable me to make the young people feel cared for and at the same time aware that there are behavioural rules they most follow. So difficult..... I remembered something the other day that i learned in University. We were taught to approach every young person with the mindset that they could be coming from any number of difficult situations. Again this is difficult and for the most part i think I'm consistent with this approach. However, there are times when forty kids is a number to great.....more volunteers would help!
At Kids Hub (kids club) yesterday we took the young people to the park for the first time this year. It was a great idea because in the space we could allow them freedom to enjoy themselves. In a building there are so many restrictions, especially for kids where electrical equipment, stairs, kitchens etc pose such a hazard. Most of the boys opted to play football at the park and so a game of 'no out of play' jumpers for goals football ensued. I takes me back to watch fifteen boys cluster around one ball all battling for possession (even if their on the same team). It also make me laugh to watch the game use up so much space. No matter where the girls played soft ball the boys would end up running onto their turf. With a lack of sidelines the game has a flowing freedom but also a frustrating disorganisation. Sadly, during the football an argument erupted between two of the boys and i stepped in to stop it. However, the result of my intervention was that one of the boys turned on me and began to tell me to get out of his face (this was coming from an 11year old).....I 'got out of his space' quickly and my team mate stepped in. It was a really negative experience for me because he explained to my team mate that he felt i was always on his back and he really didn't want to be around me. What also affected me was the way he was speaking. He sounded more like an adult in the sense that he was telling me to get away before he did something bad. I didn't feel worried for my safety but I'm not totally comfortable with conflict and didn't have the opportunity to put the situation right. I think he's a great kid but he does misbehave a lot and so as a leader i feel a responsibility to step in. Maybe it's been a good learning experience for me because being a leader means that you will be asked to deal with conflict. At the de-brief session afterwards me and my team discussed his behaviour and we discovered that his mum and dad had split up in recent weeks.....
We don't have the benefit of background information at Kids Hub, which means that we often treat kids as a group and not individual cases. I would not be lying if i said that most of the kids at our club exist in a mass of poverty, social exclusion and family breakdown. It is so difficult to find the balance between caring and disciplining problematic behaviour. All year I've been trying to adjust my approach to enable me to make the young people feel cared for and at the same time aware that there are behavioural rules they most follow. So difficult..... I remembered something the other day that i learned in University. We were taught to approach every young person with the mindset that they could be coming from any number of difficult situations. Again this is difficult and for the most part i think I'm consistent with this approach. However, there are times when forty kids is a number to great.....more volunteers would help!
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
rediscovery as a continued theme
So back in London after two weeks away I'm feeling fresh and energised....i spent the first of my weeks on holiday in Scotland and the second of my weeks working at Spring Harvest (t-in-the-park for Christians) in Skegness. Last week at Springy i began to long for London and my work...i longed for the kids, the families and my workmates. The festival is filled with inspiring christian speakers and i really enjoyed the input as a way of recharging my batteries. However, it also brought me back to a place i had been before. A place where i felt overloaded with input and not being able to transfer that into output. So now back in London i feel really keen to work on. I feel a sense of direction that i haven't felt for a while. It's almost as if i re-discovered why i want to work with people and why i chose to follow this path to fight social justice (i don't think i ever lost it but you know....rediscovered direction)
It was encouraging to work with young people at Springy who were really hungry to change the world. It reminded me of what it was like to be 18 and just realising for the first time that life outside of education was a wealth of opportunities to have a practical influence on the world....anyway I'm writing this during working hours and i don't consider it work so i should stop. I think I've RE-realised that it's important to have a focus in your work. I feel really passionate about a lot of things but i want to have a clarity throughout my social action....i like seeing people fulfil their potential and it disappoints me when people aren't aware of the opportunities available to them...
It was encouraging to work with young people at Springy who were really hungry to change the world. It reminded me of what it was like to be 18 and just realising for the first time that life outside of education was a wealth of opportunities to have a practical influence on the world....anyway I'm writing this during working hours and i don't consider it work so i should stop. I think I've RE-realised that it's important to have a focus in your work. I feel really passionate about a lot of things but i want to have a clarity throughout my social action....i like seeing people fulfil their potential and it disappoints me when people aren't aware of the opportunities available to them...
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