At Long last I find myself in a position to write a blog entry. Its 16:49 I arrived in work this morning at 08:50 so I feel that entitles me to finish for the day (it’s the first time in two weeks that I’ve not had to work at night (it’s all about fifteen hour days here). Oasis enocurage us to work hard and also rest hard…so either I’m working hard or resting as hard as I can (that means doing absolutely nothing)….layed flat out on a bed somewhere or sometimes I just find a street corner to fall asleep on, comfier than you would expect.
Saturday was an especially long day….got up at seven to be at the centre for eight. Stewarded an event called equipped to lead until 6pm and eventually got home at around seven. I was really knackered, more mentally than physically. After four months of consistent smiling and engaging with hundreds of new people my head is beginning to feel a little fatigued….I don’t really enjoy feeling like this though because I get my kicks from being around people….Anyway I got back to the house at seven and relieved got my keys out to unlock the door. As I put the key in lock I thought about the food awaiting me and the comfy couch I could collapse in. Unlocked the bottom lock and the top lock and went to open the final lock. Put key in the lock and tried to turn it…..Strangely it didn’t move. Puzzled I tried and tried to get the lock open but it wouldn’t budge
(we’ve just moved into a new house and we got keys cut, we had never checked to see if all the keys actually worked)
I ran to Tesco’s just down the road to get my team mate Katherines keys (she was doing some shopping) and when I arrived back at the house her keys also wouldn’t open the lock. The only person who had keys I actually knew worked was Sam and he was in central london somewhere. I really didn’t want to go hunting for him. I decided to call him and explain the situation. As he answered my call I felt the key move in the lock and decided to hang up and attempt to force the lock, perhaps the key did work but it was just stiff. For about ten minutes I forced the lock until it was at a point where it was stuck….i was sure that if I could move it a little further round the door would open. I decided that I would ask my neighbour if she had a hammer.
After explaining to my neighbout that I wasn’t trying to break in she got me a hammer and a pair of pliers. I was pleased ot receive the pliers because I knew they would work better than the hammer. Once back at my house I placed the pliers on the key and turned…click went the lock and I felt a sense of relief knowing that I could now get in the house. As I pulled the key out the lock I noticed that in fact I had snapped the end of it off and in fact the door wasn’t open….Instead I had snapped the key in the lock. Gutted is the only word I can use to explain the way I felt at that point. Not only was I tired, hungry and cold. I was also locked out until I found a locksmith. Now, late on a Saturday night emergency locksmiths aren’t cheap….As I called round the different companies I was quoted prices of £85 - £120. Eventually I managed to get a company to come out for £70 within the hour.
An hour passed…..no locksmith (it was freezing that night)…..two hours passed no locksmith…..three hours passed and eventually on the horizon I saw transit van headlights….i was in the house within another hour. So what have I learned from this expereince?? If something won’t move….don’t force it!
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Finding the write time to Blog.....
I have been positively rubbish with the Blog recently....However, i have many valid excuses.
I am in the process of moving house (from my treatment room bedroom to a proper house in Brixton)
We have had two Christmas parties to organise. Last night i created and hosted the entratainment for 35 families. Some really good community engagement which made all the hard work worthwhile.
When not part of an orgnaising committee i'm handing out flyers in the local neighbourhoods to advertise our Carole's by Candelight service or dressing up as Santa Claus.
Also, i'm home a week on Friday and i hope that face to face i can tell the people who read this what i'm doing.... Special mention to Todd Whiteford and Garry Weir who have complained about my lack of Blogging. Apologies to them. I'm just finding it hard to write around this crazy time of year called christmas.
I am in the process of moving house (from my treatment room bedroom to a proper house in Brixton)
We have had two Christmas parties to organise. Last night i created and hosted the entratainment for 35 families. Some really good community engagement which made all the hard work worthwhile.
When not part of an orgnaising committee i'm handing out flyers in the local neighbourhoods to advertise our Carole's by Candelight service or dressing up as Santa Claus.
Also, i'm home a week on Friday and i hope that face to face i can tell the people who read this what i'm doing.... Special mention to Todd Whiteford and Garry Weir who have complained about my lack of Blogging. Apologies to them. I'm just finding it hard to write around this crazy time of year called christmas.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
When i say church....what do you think of?
Work is pretty hectic at the moment as we're closing in on Christmas. The centre is full of promotion flyers. Full of promotion flyers in the hope that the centre will soon be full of people. Thats the big vision anyway. Full all day every day. This morning i was street walking meeting people and promoting the christmas showcase at Church.co.uk. I was surprised by people's general enthusiasm about the event. Prior to starting the rounds i was sure people would be put off by 'another' church event. But they weren't and it was an up-lifiting experience for me....
Part of the trip out and about was to drop off flyers regarding our carers and kids service called 'Hullabaloo'. We visited a number of Schools asking them to advertise our service to carers by putting up posters. Most happily obliged, some were a little less willing. But generally the trip encouraged me that we were working in partnership with other organisations. However, when we arrived at the NHS health centre for Children and Parents we were given a frosty reception. In fact it was more than frosty. We were told to leave instantly and that they had no interest in promoting our service. Now, whether that was becuase i was young or whether i mentioned i worked for a church or becuase they'd had too many services like ours come to them. Anyway, on what had been an encouraguing trip i was a little disheartened by the events at the NHS health centre. My feeling is that in order for the Church to begin to have a significant impact in Britian it has to begin to work with existing services. Around about 100 years ago Church.co.uk records show that it had on it's staff team 10 doctors who delivered around 120 children. When the government created the NHS the Church had no doctors and no babies were delivered. Now the government finds itself in a situation where the job is just to big (stories of there not being enough beds in hospitals!). Indeed the Government would have benefitted in the long run had it continued the services of the Church back in the day. And indeed the Church would look very different to what it does today. It would have qualified teachers, nurses, doctors, social workers, counsellors, health visitors...etc etc.
The job facing the Church is to fill a gap in service provision that supports other orgnaisations and develops partnership working. A service that meets physical need first and then we can rely on God to work on people's spiritual needs...becuase he will but not if we keep talking at people instead of listening to them. A massive task, but it's begun....
Part of the trip out and about was to drop off flyers regarding our carers and kids service called 'Hullabaloo'. We visited a number of Schools asking them to advertise our service to carers by putting up posters. Most happily obliged, some were a little less willing. But generally the trip encouraged me that we were working in partnership with other organisations. However, when we arrived at the NHS health centre for Children and Parents we were given a frosty reception. In fact it was more than frosty. We were told to leave instantly and that they had no interest in promoting our service. Now, whether that was becuase i was young or whether i mentioned i worked for a church or becuase they'd had too many services like ours come to them. Anyway, on what had been an encouraguing trip i was a little disheartened by the events at the NHS health centre. My feeling is that in order for the Church to begin to have a significant impact in Britian it has to begin to work with existing services. Around about 100 years ago Church.co.uk records show that it had on it's staff team 10 doctors who delivered around 120 children. When the government created the NHS the Church had no doctors and no babies were delivered. Now the government finds itself in a situation where the job is just to big (stories of there not being enough beds in hospitals!). Indeed the Government would have benefitted in the long run had it continued the services of the Church back in the day. And indeed the Church would look very different to what it does today. It would have qualified teachers, nurses, doctors, social workers, counsellors, health visitors...etc etc.
The job facing the Church is to fill a gap in service provision that supports other orgnaisations and develops partnership working. A service that meets physical need first and then we can rely on God to work on people's spiritual needs...becuase he will but not if we keep talking at people instead of listening to them. A massive task, but it's begun....
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Community spirit....Not just for Christmas
A week has quickly gone by and my holiday is over.... At the end of last week i had began to feel my energy levels at a low and i really needed a break. But now after some home cooking, a warm comfy bed and quality time spent with my family and friends i'm ready to head back on down to London and work hard on the build up to Christmas. Christmas is a very busy time for Church.co.uk..... Youth Events for the young people, events for the older people and general community engagement. Armed with a few peices of my mum's chocolate traybake i also plan to shine some delight into what might be a miserable time for some people....That Chocolate traybake is quite something, just ask anyone who's has the opportunity to try it!
Christmas is definately a time of year when communities come together, whether that's kids playing in the snow or people attending school shows, pantomines etc etc.... Christmas is a unique time of year where different groups of people get together. I remember speaking to one of the mums dropping her child off at kids club. She asked if Church.co.uk would be putting on the christmas carol event again this year. I explained 'yes' and she was very pleased. She went on to tell me that earlier on in the year they had experienced a power cut. When the power went off she paniced not quite sure what to do....but then remembered that she still had the candles from the carol service at Church.co.uk. She lit them and was able to resolve the situation until the power came back on. She told that story with a real joy and gladness that really encouraged me. I'm not sure whether people enjoy church christmas services becuase they like singing or is it that they enjoy being part of a community.... Church.co.uk was packed last christmas and it will be again this year but just for that day. It's a real challenge for Churches to find attractive ways outside of christmas to bring people together in their communities.
Christmas is definately a time of year when communities come together, whether that's kids playing in the snow or people attending school shows, pantomines etc etc.... Christmas is a unique time of year where different groups of people get together. I remember speaking to one of the mums dropping her child off at kids club. She asked if Church.co.uk would be putting on the christmas carol event again this year. I explained 'yes' and she was very pleased. She went on to tell me that earlier on in the year they had experienced a power cut. When the power went off she paniced not quite sure what to do....but then remembered that she still had the candles from the carol service at Church.co.uk. She lit them and was able to resolve the situation until the power came back on. She told that story with a real joy and gladness that really encouraged me. I'm not sure whether people enjoy church christmas services becuase they like singing or is it that they enjoy being part of a community.... Church.co.uk was packed last christmas and it will be again this year but just for that day. It's a real challenge for Churches to find attractive ways outside of christmas to bring people together in their communities.
Friday, November 24, 2006
Detached aka out in the wilderness
One of the boys has stopped coming to the wednesday night club and so me and a colleague decided one evening to go round to his house and check he was okay. I've probably told myself hundreds of times that the best way to engage with a community is to live in it but recently i've struggled with that concept probably becuase i've found this community a bit scary. But on this night when we visited this house i had one of the best expereinces of my year so far.
As we arrived at the high rise building where he lived we noticed he and his brother were standing on the street about 100yds away. Brilliant i thought, now i dont have to climb the hundreds of stairs or get in the lift where guys have unrinated against the buttons...(true story). we got a really warm reception from the boys as we greeted them....Perhaps becuase they saw this visit as special treatment (indeed it was, we visited becuase we cared). I asked why he had stopped coming to club and he explained about one of the other boys annoying him. I explained that if he were to come back i'd keep a close eye on the other boy and try to make sure he left him alone. The boy still didn't seem to keen on coming back to club and so we just chatted for a while and then left. On our way back out of the area we met another boy (named Papa) who is probably one of the nicest kids i've met. Very layed back and always smiling. I asked him about football and how he was getting on.... he explained he was doing fine and might come back to football club at some point (inconsistency is our biggest problem). While we were talking to Papa some other kids came by and asked us who we were....we explained to them that we wroked for the Community Hub at Church.co.uk. They seemed interested. At that point a door opened an a woman looked out. Suspiciously she asked who we were (and why we were talking to her kids) and we explained about Church.co.uk. She also seemed very interested and we chatted for about ten minutes. In the end she offered to promote our work to other mums and she also said that she would send her kids to some of the available clubs..... It was so nice to be in the community engaging with people and getting to know them. Afterall the better we know the community the more relevant our services will be.
The following day it was kids club and the boy we had spoken to was back.....Appeared to have a great time.
As we arrived at the high rise building where he lived we noticed he and his brother were standing on the street about 100yds away. Brilliant i thought, now i dont have to climb the hundreds of stairs or get in the lift where guys have unrinated against the buttons...(true story). we got a really warm reception from the boys as we greeted them....Perhaps becuase they saw this visit as special treatment (indeed it was, we visited becuase we cared). I asked why he had stopped coming to club and he explained about one of the other boys annoying him. I explained that if he were to come back i'd keep a close eye on the other boy and try to make sure he left him alone. The boy still didn't seem to keen on coming back to club and so we just chatted for a while and then left. On our way back out of the area we met another boy (named Papa) who is probably one of the nicest kids i've met. Very layed back and always smiling. I asked him about football and how he was getting on.... he explained he was doing fine and might come back to football club at some point (inconsistency is our biggest problem). While we were talking to Papa some other kids came by and asked us who we were....we explained to them that we wroked for the Community Hub at Church.co.uk. They seemed interested. At that point a door opened an a woman looked out. Suspiciously she asked who we were (and why we were talking to her kids) and we explained about Church.co.uk. She also seemed very interested and we chatted for about ten minutes. In the end she offered to promote our work to other mums and she also said that she would send her kids to some of the available clubs..... It was so nice to be in the community engaging with people and getting to know them. Afterall the better we know the community the more relevant our services will be.
The following day it was kids club and the boy we had spoken to was back.....Appeared to have a great time.
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Welcoming Tide....Incoming
The 'Bottom' of the country
Sam and Kat playing chicken with the tide... Basically you have to see how close you can get to the incoming tide without getting wet. Kat inevitably got very wet shoes...she fell
Sam and Kat playing chicken with the tide... Basically you have to see how close you can get to the incoming tide without getting wet. Kat inevitably got very wet shoes...she fell
The underwear trial at Eastbourne
I’m running out of socks…..
I think the story I’m about to write verges on innapropriate in the sense that I’m about to discuss the topic of underwear. However, I ask that you read this with an open mind….I’m not about to tell you how often I change my underwear or discuss ‘going commando’.
Over the weekend I worked at Youthwork the conference in Eastbourne (lovely little place). It’s right on the bottom (bottom!! Ha….) of the country. For one whole weekend the little city of Eastbourne was engulfed by Youthworkers (that’s a scary thought when you think about your own expereince of youthworkers). I have to say that some youthworkers struggled without any kids being there. I suppose it’s a bit like a drug addict going without drugs for a weekend… They shake, they sweat…. So, as you can imagine Eastbourne was quite a sight. The basic outline of the event is for Youthworkers to congregate and discuss new methods of doing youthwork. My job was to steward which, involved guiding, smiling and engaging….Things I enjoy doing. One South African guy actually told me I was a fantastic steward.
What was also nice was that I got to leave my institutional home for the weekend. We were booked in at the Carlton Hotel, easily identified by it’s pink exterior. It wasn’t five star but I was just glad for a room with a carpet and a shower….The shower was heaven sent. If you weren’t aware, I don’t have a shower in my ex health centre home. As a steward at Eastbourne we were well looked after. We had backstage passess where the lounge was constantly filled with food and drinks to keep our energy levels up. In the morning we got croissants and in the evening £10 vouchers to eat wherever we wanted in Eastbourne…. I think we deserved it considering a steward works three 15 hour days. As I write this I’m very tired mainly because I didn’t get a break at the weekend…Although, however tired there is always something to keep you smiling at Church.co.uk. Whether it’s the ten toddlers who attend Hullabaloo on Thursday mornings or the kids at football group….sometimes a latte from the coffee shop provides a nice kick. On most days I’m motivated by the team around me. Always laughing, always joking….. Although having my accent copied has ceased to be humerous.
Okay, so I was in Eastbourne…. It first struck me on arrival at Eastbourne train station that I’d forgot to bring a change of boxers and socks….. Oh oh I though to myself. As a steward (face of the conference) you need to look fresh and clean. Clean underwear only helps to set you up for the day. I decided that I would clean my underwear each night and let it dry on the radiator over night so it would be ready for the morning. First night came, washed my stuff in the sink… and in the morning they were fresh and dry. I remember thinking that I might never take spare underwear away with me again… Cleaning in the sink was the way forward.
The second night came and I started the process of cleaning….Running the hot water, adding soap….Then I heard the football on the TV and I ran out the bathroom to catch Match of the Day. Sam my room-mate came in at the end of the football and we chatted for a while before going to sleep. Now, had Sam gone to the toilet before he went to his bed what happened might not have happened. I remember us having a discussion about bladder control and Sam saying that he could need the toilet before bed but keep it in until the morning (potentially dangerous if you ask me, potential for accidents!!). Because Sam or I never went to the toilet after I had put my underwear in the sink I woke to find them still happily floating in the now grubby water. Rubbish! I thought as visions of a day with wet underwear on flashed through my head…. Luckily my team mates were able to lend me some spares they had brought with them. Clean brown socks from James..... and nice pink nickers from Karin...........!
(Just for those who have slight concerns about me, i was joking about the nickers thing....!)
I think the story I’m about to write verges on innapropriate in the sense that I’m about to discuss the topic of underwear. However, I ask that you read this with an open mind….I’m not about to tell you how often I change my underwear or discuss ‘going commando’.
Over the weekend I worked at Youthwork the conference in Eastbourne (lovely little place). It’s right on the bottom (bottom!! Ha….) of the country. For one whole weekend the little city of Eastbourne was engulfed by Youthworkers (that’s a scary thought when you think about your own expereince of youthworkers). I have to say that some youthworkers struggled without any kids being there. I suppose it’s a bit like a drug addict going without drugs for a weekend… They shake, they sweat…. So, as you can imagine Eastbourne was quite a sight. The basic outline of the event is for Youthworkers to congregate and discuss new methods of doing youthwork. My job was to steward which, involved guiding, smiling and engaging….Things I enjoy doing. One South African guy actually told me I was a fantastic steward.
What was also nice was that I got to leave my institutional home for the weekend. We were booked in at the Carlton Hotel, easily identified by it’s pink exterior. It wasn’t five star but I was just glad for a room with a carpet and a shower….The shower was heaven sent. If you weren’t aware, I don’t have a shower in my ex health centre home. As a steward at Eastbourne we were well looked after. We had backstage passess where the lounge was constantly filled with food and drinks to keep our energy levels up. In the morning we got croissants and in the evening £10 vouchers to eat wherever we wanted in Eastbourne…. I think we deserved it considering a steward works three 15 hour days. As I write this I’m very tired mainly because I didn’t get a break at the weekend…Although, however tired there is always something to keep you smiling at Church.co.uk. Whether it’s the ten toddlers who attend Hullabaloo on Thursday mornings or the kids at football group….sometimes a latte from the coffee shop provides a nice kick. On most days I’m motivated by the team around me. Always laughing, always joking….. Although having my accent copied has ceased to be humerous.
Okay, so I was in Eastbourne…. It first struck me on arrival at Eastbourne train station that I’d forgot to bring a change of boxers and socks….. Oh oh I though to myself. As a steward (face of the conference) you need to look fresh and clean. Clean underwear only helps to set you up for the day. I decided that I would clean my underwear each night and let it dry on the radiator over night so it would be ready for the morning. First night came, washed my stuff in the sink… and in the morning they were fresh and dry. I remember thinking that I might never take spare underwear away with me again… Cleaning in the sink was the way forward.
The second night came and I started the process of cleaning….Running the hot water, adding soap….Then I heard the football on the TV and I ran out the bathroom to catch Match of the Day. Sam my room-mate came in at the end of the football and we chatted for a while before going to sleep. Now, had Sam gone to the toilet before he went to his bed what happened might not have happened. I remember us having a discussion about bladder control and Sam saying that he could need the toilet before bed but keep it in until the morning (potentially dangerous if you ask me, potential for accidents!!). Because Sam or I never went to the toilet after I had put my underwear in the sink I woke to find them still happily floating in the now grubby water. Rubbish! I thought as visions of a day with wet underwear on flashed through my head…. Luckily my team mates were able to lend me some spares they had brought with them. Clean brown socks from James..... and nice pink nickers from Karin...........!
(Just for those who have slight concerns about me, i was joking about the nickers thing....!)
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Dog.... a mans best friend
Charlie the dog now a very good friend of mine....I usually hate dogs but this dog is the best i've ever met.... he's immense. Playful, doesn't smell, doesn't drool, always up for a laugh and a great listener!
When God made me he broke the mould (the egg has hatched)....accompanied by charlie the dog
Me and Steve from my team enjoying the autumn leaves... looks like something from a menswear catalogue
When God made me he broke the mould (the egg has hatched)....accompanied by charlie the dog
Me and Steve from my team enjoying the autumn leaves... looks like something from a menswear catalogue
Church included in this Blog for the good of the Church
Dave (senior minister) was leading training this week on ‘urban church’. Really interesting stuff that left me feeling really inspired to learn as much from this year as possible…. What does urban church look like? Or perhaps I should phrase it how does our urban church (Church.co.uk) look? It looks pretty inclusive I’d say. I think the majority of the people in our church are people that have been rejected by other churches. Rejected referring to not being supported to be themselves or not being supported during a difficult time in their life…. If that doesn’t quite make sense then here are a couple of examples of inclusive church that Dave gave us at training.
After the morning service Dave was approached by one of the men in the congregation. The guy told him that he had been attending the church for two weeks and felt that he’d like to make it his regular place of attendance. He enjoyed the people attending the church and felt at home. However, he explained to Dave, there was one slight problem…. he was gay. Dave said ‘cool’. A little surprised, the guy asked what the churches policy on homosexuality was? Dave asserted that the church didn’t have a policy on homosexuality and that he was more than welcome. Still not knowing how to respond the guy asked Dave if he considered homosexuality to be a sin. Dave responded: “If homosexuality is a sin then you’re a sinner but that makes you just like me and everyone else in this church…sinners”.
The other story Dave told my training group was about a couple that approached him to dedicate their child. Dave agreed when they initially asked him. However, when it came to getting their details it became apparent that they were not married and had two kids together. Dave decided to dedicate the child despite the parents not being married. It would be interesting to know how other churches would have reacted. Anyway a couple of weeks after the child had been dedicated the parents had continued to attend the church. After one service they approached Dave and asked him to marry them….I think the stories a very powerful witness of what God will do if we open ourselves up to people.
Inclusive church takes risks, and I suppose is willing to include the people that other churches might not. When I was visiting Brighton the advocacy team I met told me about their unique selling point. It was “we work with the people other organisations don’t want to”. In a sense churches unique selling point should be to “involve the people that society other parts of society doesn’t”….
After the morning service Dave was approached by one of the men in the congregation. The guy told him that he had been attending the church for two weeks and felt that he’d like to make it his regular place of attendance. He enjoyed the people attending the church and felt at home. However, he explained to Dave, there was one slight problem…. he was gay. Dave said ‘cool’. A little surprised, the guy asked what the churches policy on homosexuality was? Dave asserted that the church didn’t have a policy on homosexuality and that he was more than welcome. Still not knowing how to respond the guy asked Dave if he considered homosexuality to be a sin. Dave responded: “If homosexuality is a sin then you’re a sinner but that makes you just like me and everyone else in this church…sinners”.
The other story Dave told my training group was about a couple that approached him to dedicate their child. Dave agreed when they initially asked him. However, when it came to getting their details it became apparent that they were not married and had two kids together. Dave decided to dedicate the child despite the parents not being married. It would be interesting to know how other churches would have reacted. Anyway a couple of weeks after the child had been dedicated the parents had continued to attend the church. After one service they approached Dave and asked him to marry them….I think the stories a very powerful witness of what God will do if we open ourselves up to people.
Inclusive church takes risks, and I suppose is willing to include the people that other churches might not. When I was visiting Brighton the advocacy team I met told me about their unique selling point. It was “we work with the people other organisations don’t want to”. In a sense churches unique selling point should be to “involve the people that society other parts of society doesn’t”….
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Friendly trips to London....
Just the average weekend...... Friday spent visiting an advocacy service in Brighton (see picture below)....The beautiful Brighton Beach
Saturday/Sunday spent with good friends......Waterloo Station
Saturday/Sunday spent with good friends......Waterloo Station
The South Bank... looking over to the tower bridge
Some stunning contemporary London art and a picture of some guy with sunglasses.....
Friday, November 10, 2006
more than a game of football
It may not seem like it, but i do more than play football here. However, to find out the other things i do you'll have to keep checking my future posts becuase again today i'm going to focus on Football. What strikes me is that it's more than just a game... I'm not sure everyone will agree but for me it's a constructive way to release a weeks worth of stress. For others its just a reason to fight (some will remember the infamous Ped of Friday Night Chrisitian Football) For most it's a way of keeping fit.... Tonight its 11 to 18 year olds football and no doubt some will come to fight, others to laugh and some to show off to their mates. In fact i haven't been running this football for a couple of weeks due to half term breaks and friends staying but tonight i return to the theatre of theatrics that is our football field.
Last time i ran this football session i was put in charge due to the absence of my two more expereinced colleagues Tim and Pete. It's always a little tense during the games becuase the group is made up of kids from different areas so in a sense different gangs come together to play football. Most of the time when it's well refereed there are no problems but when its not well refereed chaos can erupt. Now, it wasn't becuase i was a poor referee that chaos erupted on that night i think it was more that the two leaders who have developed the best relationships with the kids were absent. Therefore the element of respect the kids have for them was absent.
It all started when one of the boys accidently kicked the ball in anothers face. A shouting matched was the result but i managed to settle everything down with my whistle and my scottish slang. Problem was that the two boys had history and the ball in the face incident opened up old wounds and as soon as the game finished the two went for each other. Again we managed with the help of the older males to control it but it became inevtiable that they were going to fight at some point that night whether under our supervision or not. We managed to get all the boys off the pitch and onto the street so they could begin to walk home. However, instead it turned into a massive circle with the two fighters in the centre squaring up. From what i could see the guys i knew from football had turned into fighting machines, they had tensed up and were totally focused on the other person. Normally jolly guys who were laughing and joking looked angry and serious as if this was about more than just a ball kicked in the face. Instead it was about pride, territory and reputation. It was very scary to watch. It was even scariar to know that i was in some way responsible for the kids and the leaders. I really didn't know what to do.... But i remembered thinking that whilst we were outside the pitch the football session was over and the kids had a respnsability to make their own way home. Was my safety and the other leaders more important here, i also remember thinking! But i also saw that this fight could get messy especially as both boys were supported by groups of peers. The best option i thought was to try and get the group to the main road two hundred yards away where the mass of people and street lights would surely distract the situation. Instead the whole situation kicked off, a punch was thrown and another then all the boys from one group jumped in and it became a five on one mass. Then realising how unfair it was other guys jamp in to pull them apart. As the boys separated the male who had been ganged up on ran for the main street and i breathed i sigh of relief knowing that he might run home and the whole thing would de-escalate.
Not that simple, instead the running away male shouted a load of abuse about the other guys mum and the whole thing really kicked off. As a result of shouting he was chased by the guy he had offended with his comment and all that guys mates. Instead of keep running for the main road he turned round and ran back towards the oncoming group of males and was tripped up and beaten pretty badly. Again the wider group of guys there stepped in to pull them apart. One of the other leaders took the hurt boy and walked him briskly home whilst i and another leader stayed back with the group of boys to try and slow them down. The whole thing was crazy and left me feeling really shaken.
I tried the night it happened to write about it for my Blog but i struggled, mainly becuase i was still really affected by the whole thing. Now i feel more clear about the situation in my head and after i've written this i'm attending a conflict resolution session with the group of boys to discuss their actions. How will it go..... I'll let you know
Last time i ran this football session i was put in charge due to the absence of my two more expereinced colleagues Tim and Pete. It's always a little tense during the games becuase the group is made up of kids from different areas so in a sense different gangs come together to play football. Most of the time when it's well refereed there are no problems but when its not well refereed chaos can erupt. Now, it wasn't becuase i was a poor referee that chaos erupted on that night i think it was more that the two leaders who have developed the best relationships with the kids were absent. Therefore the element of respect the kids have for them was absent.
It all started when one of the boys accidently kicked the ball in anothers face. A shouting matched was the result but i managed to settle everything down with my whistle and my scottish slang. Problem was that the two boys had history and the ball in the face incident opened up old wounds and as soon as the game finished the two went for each other. Again we managed with the help of the older males to control it but it became inevtiable that they were going to fight at some point that night whether under our supervision or not. We managed to get all the boys off the pitch and onto the street so they could begin to walk home. However, instead it turned into a massive circle with the two fighters in the centre squaring up. From what i could see the guys i knew from football had turned into fighting machines, they had tensed up and were totally focused on the other person. Normally jolly guys who were laughing and joking looked angry and serious as if this was about more than just a ball kicked in the face. Instead it was about pride, territory and reputation. It was very scary to watch. It was even scariar to know that i was in some way responsible for the kids and the leaders. I really didn't know what to do.... But i remembered thinking that whilst we were outside the pitch the football session was over and the kids had a respnsability to make their own way home. Was my safety and the other leaders more important here, i also remember thinking! But i also saw that this fight could get messy especially as both boys were supported by groups of peers. The best option i thought was to try and get the group to the main road two hundred yards away where the mass of people and street lights would surely distract the situation. Instead the whole situation kicked off, a punch was thrown and another then all the boys from one group jumped in and it became a five on one mass. Then realising how unfair it was other guys jamp in to pull them apart. As the boys separated the male who had been ganged up on ran for the main street and i breathed i sigh of relief knowing that he might run home and the whole thing would de-escalate.
Not that simple, instead the running away male shouted a load of abuse about the other guys mum and the whole thing really kicked off. As a result of shouting he was chased by the guy he had offended with his comment and all that guys mates. Instead of keep running for the main road he turned round and ran back towards the oncoming group of males and was tripped up and beaten pretty badly. Again the wider group of guys there stepped in to pull them apart. One of the other leaders took the hurt boy and walked him briskly home whilst i and another leader stayed back with the group of boys to try and slow them down. The whole thing was crazy and left me feeling really shaken.
I tried the night it happened to write about it for my Blog but i struggled, mainly becuase i was still really affected by the whole thing. Now i feel more clear about the situation in my head and after i've written this i'm attending a conflict resolution session with the group of boys to discuss their actions. How will it go..... I'll let you know
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Borat the movie, insight or the truth
I'm sure everyone is aware that Borat the movie is now playing in Local cinemas. I went to see it with some guys from work including senior minister of Church.co.uk Dave. It's a very funny film, mainly becuase his humour is based on 'shock factor'. He says the things that other people wouldn't. After my Blog yesterday i got a comment from a friend which made me think about this film. Basically i was trying to think of the times i'd been shocked at the hypocracy of Christians. Now no-one is perfect and i too am not perfect (a shock to some i know) at times i will be a hypocrite to the faith i support. However, at one point in the Borat movie (the film is filmed with real people, in real situations) he is having dinner with some southern american VIP's. Around the table is a senator (i think) a pastor and their wives. Towards the end of the meal Borat invites a prosititute to the house where they are dining. When the Bell rings he gets up and goes to answer the door. Upon seeing the inappropriately dressed woman (and realising what she was) the guests at the dinner table become very agitated. The Pastor get's up from the table and say's in a statement way "i'm sorry i can't be here anymore" suggesting that this was an atmosphere too uncomfortable for him. Jesus walked comfrotably amongst all people despite their actions. The man who plays that pastor had an opportunity in that Film to be a tremendous witness to the world that Jesus lives....instead he wasn't. Like me I'm sure many others feel their fighting against this sort of 'christian' action. When this bit in the film happened Dave the senior pastor cringed and hid under his jumper....
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Friends to the end
Friends are great things. Their the people that allow you to be yourself, they have the ability to make you laugh like no one else can and they are the people who you can offload your problems onto. I have some great friends made both through the church and outside the church. Taking the friends who don't go to church to church is always a difficult one. Mainly for me becuase i dont want them to feel like i'm imposing my values on them. Often i'll be chatting to someone and we'll talk about church and they'll be interested but i always feel there is a barrier in our conversation perhaps becuase people feel negative about the term church. A lot of my friends went to Sunday school and then stopped going to church when they became too old to attend.... why is it that there wasn't things in place that would hold people's attention. Obviously as people approach teenage life they begin to question the world around them and question whether this christianity thing they've been told about in Sunday school is really true. Exploring is a wonderful thing when your young.... i remember the first time i was allowed into town by myself, wow! The responsability made me feel so old. I also remember the first time i really i was asked whether i was a christian.
I was 12 and at Scripture Union camp... This leader approached me and a friend and asked if we wanted to accpept God into our lives. I hadn't really thought about it but felt it was a really big decision. I then remember the leader asking us if we wanted him to pray for us.. My friend said 'no' and I without wanting or knowing what was right said 'yes'. After he prayed he told me i was now a christian and i remember feeling awful.... that some massive responsability was now being placed on me... to be something i wasn't ready to be. That night we had an evening meeting and afterwards i approached the leaders to talk about how i felt. As soon as they took me into the office i burst into tears and explained that i didn't want to be a chrisitan.... i wasn't ready. They explained that it was okay and that i didn't have to be a christian if i didn't want to. They also explained to me that being a chrisitian wouldn't change me much...Anyway i left the meeting deciding i wasn't a chrisitian becuase it was a bit scary. I felt so pressured by that Scripture Union leader and i've never forgotten it. I suppose it's affected the way i apporach people when we're talking about God.
I've gone totally off track there, this wasn't what i intended to write when i started out... but i love that about writing freely (There's always the chance you'll offend but then again sometimes your words will inspire). My two closest friends G and T (they asked to be referred to as this because of my approach to people in earlier Blogs). No, i'm not referring to Gin and Tonic as in my alcohol addiction (don't worry mum and dad) but my friends G and T (all sounds a bit mad really, am i going mad.... voice in head says nobody reads this). Right, my two friends came down at the weekend and we had a great time laughing, partying, socialising and partying and laughing. First thing they did when they arrived as take me out for Tea... No questions asked, they did it without thinking... and reassured when i offered to pay that i need not worry about money when with them. They've always been like that to me. I know a lot of generous people but these two have since i first met them been the most servant like people. They support when i'm weak they care about my family and my other friends. And their outward actions towards others are amazing. They're nice people to be around.
Their not Chrisitans but support me completely in my faith (another great thing about them). They came to church with me on Sunday and in the past they've come to church back home. On Sunday we were asked during the service to write encouraging cards for one another, it was a great idea. I instantly knew who too write my encouragement cards too, G and T. Afterall they were sat right beside me. Perhaps at this point i was in a position to encourage them to take a step of faith (some people might have) but inside i felt only a need to encourage the people they were. For me they're actions are like that of Jesus and i feel no pressure that they should become chrisitians. I feel confident from what isee in them that the God i know works through them. I know what i'm writing is slightly contraversial but recently i've been thinking about the term chrisitian and whether it matches up to say christlike (follower of Jesus!)..... I know lot's of followers of Jesus who call themselves christians and i know lots of people similar to jesus who don't call themselves christian! These thoughts are only those of a young man on a journey to find God and Jesus in the world. I love what i read about Jesus and i follow him becuase he offers me direction in such a messy world, direction to help those who are suffering. Someone said to me the other day that if Jesus came back we'd kill him..... just like we did before becuase he'd be so contraversial and so unlike what we have made him. He's the coolest guy that ever walked the earth, where did we manage to lose sight of that......we need to let our young people see him for what he is!
I was 12 and at Scripture Union camp... This leader approached me and a friend and asked if we wanted to accpept God into our lives. I hadn't really thought about it but felt it was a really big decision. I then remember the leader asking us if we wanted him to pray for us.. My friend said 'no' and I without wanting or knowing what was right said 'yes'. After he prayed he told me i was now a christian and i remember feeling awful.... that some massive responsability was now being placed on me... to be something i wasn't ready to be. That night we had an evening meeting and afterwards i approached the leaders to talk about how i felt. As soon as they took me into the office i burst into tears and explained that i didn't want to be a chrisitan.... i wasn't ready. They explained that it was okay and that i didn't have to be a christian if i didn't want to. They also explained to me that being a chrisitian wouldn't change me much...Anyway i left the meeting deciding i wasn't a chrisitian becuase it was a bit scary. I felt so pressured by that Scripture Union leader and i've never forgotten it. I suppose it's affected the way i apporach people when we're talking about God.
I've gone totally off track there, this wasn't what i intended to write when i started out... but i love that about writing freely (There's always the chance you'll offend but then again sometimes your words will inspire). My two closest friends G and T (they asked to be referred to as this because of my approach to people in earlier Blogs). No, i'm not referring to Gin and Tonic as in my alcohol addiction (don't worry mum and dad) but my friends G and T (all sounds a bit mad really, am i going mad.... voice in head says nobody reads this). Right, my two friends came down at the weekend and we had a great time laughing, partying, socialising and partying and laughing. First thing they did when they arrived as take me out for Tea... No questions asked, they did it without thinking... and reassured when i offered to pay that i need not worry about money when with them. They've always been like that to me. I know a lot of generous people but these two have since i first met them been the most servant like people. They support when i'm weak they care about my family and my other friends. And their outward actions towards others are amazing. They're nice people to be around.
Their not Chrisitans but support me completely in my faith (another great thing about them). They came to church with me on Sunday and in the past they've come to church back home. On Sunday we were asked during the service to write encouraging cards for one another, it was a great idea. I instantly knew who too write my encouragement cards too, G and T. Afterall they were sat right beside me. Perhaps at this point i was in a position to encourage them to take a step of faith (some people might have) but inside i felt only a need to encourage the people they were. For me they're actions are like that of Jesus and i feel no pressure that they should become chrisitians. I feel confident from what isee in them that the God i know works through them. I know what i'm writing is slightly contraversial but recently i've been thinking about the term chrisitian and whether it matches up to say christlike (follower of Jesus!)..... I know lot's of followers of Jesus who call themselves christians and i know lots of people similar to jesus who don't call themselves christian! These thoughts are only those of a young man on a journey to find God and Jesus in the world. I love what i read about Jesus and i follow him becuase he offers me direction in such a messy world, direction to help those who are suffering. Someone said to me the other day that if Jesus came back we'd kill him..... just like we did before becuase he'd be so contraversial and so unlike what we have made him. He's the coolest guy that ever walked the earth, where did we manage to lose sight of that......we need to let our young people see him for what he is!
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
A week gone bye
Time is flying and i apologise that i've not been able to update my Blog. Recently work has been hectic. However, i'm pleased to inform this Blog that i've got stacks of thoughts in my head ready for a night spent on my laptop where i can begin to share with you my experiences. While i have the time i'll share this little story.
On Friday i spent the day in Brighton visiting a church that has set up an Advocacy/Advice service. I learned so much about setting up projects and the hurdles that you have to overcome. I also learned that about a year ago the project in Brighton almost shut down becuase someone within the church who opposed the service stole all the policies and procedures. They're files weren't backed up on the computer and so they had to start from Scratch. How cheeky is that.... and how un-christian like (in reference to societal stereotypes) to steal all the policies. Anyway it's nice to be part of a working Church where people feel passionate about outworking and finding ways to engage with people. As the saying goes... if your not part of the solution. Your part of the problem......
On Friday i spent the day in Brighton visiting a church that has set up an Advocacy/Advice service. I learned so much about setting up projects and the hurdles that you have to overcome. I also learned that about a year ago the project in Brighton almost shut down becuase someone within the church who opposed the service stole all the policies and procedures. They're files weren't backed up on the computer and so they had to start from Scratch. How cheeky is that.... and how un-christian like (in reference to societal stereotypes) to steal all the policies. Anyway it's nice to be part of a working Church where people feel passionate about outworking and finding ways to engage with people. As the saying goes... if your not part of the solution. Your part of the problem......
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
A football Oasis
This is the eventual tournament winners, the guy pointing is the one that i pushed! Read on to find out about my alter ego - Vinny
I'm the one smiling looking like a real swell guy.... however on the football pitch i'm an animal
I'm the one smiling looking like a real swell guy.... however on the football pitch i'm an animal
Last week I had the opportunity to represent Oasis in a charity football tournament. It went well. We got put out from our group by the team that went on to win it. We then got put into the Loser's tournament which we won.... Although the losers cup victory was sweet the tournamnent will be remembered by my teammates for other events surrounding me. In the match with the team that went onto win the tournament i got involved in a bit of scuffle where i was fouled and then the guy complained to the ref so i pushed him in the back. Then straight after i tackled another player and he pushed me and i shouted at him.... we both got sent off for two minutes! I eventually came back on and scored one of the best goals of my life. It was so good that the people watching round the side of the pitch applauded and i became an instant 'fans favourite'.... the way i kicked opponents and scored wonderful goals made for total entertainment. Funny thing was that prior to that game i had lectured one of my fifteen year old team mates on controlling his temper (the guy attends our football programme so technically i'm his youth worker). I've always considered role modelling very important so when i got sent off in front of him i ruined all the stuff i had said to him earlier. It's interesting that they now respect me more for getting sent off than they did before..... figure that out!
Monday, October 30, 2006
Pleased tea see you....
This is the Oasis Tea man... he's very helpful as you can see. Don't ask about the headware, some say it's a tea cosy becuase he's see's himself as a giant kettle!
Friday, October 27, 2006
It's good to walk (like the phone advert "it's good to talk"....) ha ha
I like to think that I’m a good navigator (others who have been victim to my navigation might disagreee). This morning I had to be in a school for 9am to do some mentoring work with an 11 year old boy. In Perth most journeys made can be done on foot so I’m still in this frame of mind where I feel I can walk most places. Slowly I’m learning that in London the distances between places are far greater (that’s why they have such an effective public transport system). At times my reluctance to use public transport proves to be a hindrance but it can also be an advantage. Some colleagues have found my walking approach inspirational - expressing that too often they use the underground for short journeys. On the other hand as I mentioned it can be a hinderence because I find myself walking extreme distances to get places. On foot there is always the chance you’ll take a wrong turn…. For example I found myself walking this morning quite confident I knew where I was going. I knew as soon as I got on the Old Kent Road it was a straight journey. Problem was… couldn’t find the Old Kent Road only the New Kent Road. Turns out that the Old Kent Road is the New Kent road…. This was explained to me by the bemused londoner I stopped to ask!
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Fish wive tales
I took a picture of these two London Gypsy's whilst out and about in London. Scary people who use their head scarves as weapons.
Working gap years have the potential to turn education leavers into education leavers with perspective...
I live in what could only be described as a big white building. It has Oasis themed orange shutters on the windows, four floors and two movement censored showers that don’t work when you move about in front of them (when they suddenly stopped working I was lathered up ready for the rinse. Not the nicest experience rinsing your whole self in a basin of tepid water). There are five residents in this big building: Me, Tim, Pete, his wife Becka and our little friend the mouse who lives on the ground floor. We don’t see much of mouse but he leaves his mark on every item of food left vulnerably on the worktops. The building used to be a health centre/ homeless hostel and so it has a institutional feel to it. For example there is a reception area outside my first floor bedroom. There is a large walk-in cupboard where they used to stock spare clothes for homeless people in the winter. Next door to my bedroom (an old treatment room) is a chiropody chair. It still works which makes for excellent entertainment when bored. It’s quite a lonely building and I still don’t feel quite at home in it. The building sits on the Lambeth Road, which means that it’s noisy throughout the night, seriously the noise never stops. I’ve just had to adjust to sleeping through it. Underneath the house runs the Bakerloo underground line, which often keeps me awake late at night….
This environment is far from the tranquil silence of my home in Perth. I’ll be honest and say that there is times I wish I could sleep there and then return to London every morning. However, in this noisy large building I’m learning more about myself than I ever have. I’m adapting to an environment that I’ve never had too. I’m overcoming fears and anxieties that I’ve had for years. It’s the learning curve that drives me on…. The knowledge that after this year I’ll be able to look back and say I stepped out of my comfort zone to have some experience of what it feels like to be uncomfortable. London is amazing. On Sunday I had the best ice cream I’ve ever tasted, occasionally I eat the best doughnuts I’ve ever had (made fresh – melt in the mouth) and sometimes I eat these chips – crispy on the outside and fluffy in the centre. But there are aspects of London that make me uncomfortable. The shooting’s, the stabbings, the general way people just don’t look at each other (who can you trust?). Maybe I’ve not made much sense about why I’m here. If so maybe I can say it better. I reckon that experience is everything when working with people. Although you can get a degree to give you the relevant skills, life experience gives you the confidence to put those skills into practice. I feel the higher up the scale of need I work the more I’ll learn (the kids I work with here have put new demands on my skills, something which can only benefit me in my future work).
Oasis are very keen on the idea of mentorship and so very quickly I’ve been given a personal mentor. His names Ally and he’s trained counsellor (don’t worry I think it’s more chance than my actual need for counselling) originally from Edinburgh. Anyway, I had m first meeting with him, which was great. We ate a meal and then went for a pint. The whole thing was very relaxed and he gave me plenty opportunity to talk about any problems I was having (you know, my hair, my style, girl problems etc etc). Ally dropped me back at the institution (home) around 10pm and I went inside feeling very at peace. I always check the mail when I enter the building because we get a bunch of interesting stuff through the post mainly because it used to be a health centre (free drug samples, new receding hair treatments). Anyway, I was just walking to my room when I heard a door creak and I stopped a little freaked by the noise. I stood for sometime waiting for any follow up noise but none came and so I carried on walking to my room. You can imagine that I was a little anxious and was quite keen to get inside my room and lock the door; I’d be safe in there at least. However, as I walked to my door Tim and Pete jumped out in front of me and I screamed…. Screamed like I’d never screamed before. Holding my heart I collapsed to the floor in total shock at what had just happened…. At first, I’m told they thought they’d killed due to my reaction and then when I spoke the tension dropped and they started laughing. It’s the worst fright I’ve ever had and I still haven’t quite recovered. I think if my heart has ever been close to stopping it was then. No doubt this moment will go down in my Oasis Legacy ‘the time we gave Andrew a fright’. Had I died during the experience then it would have been my legacy….
This environment is far from the tranquil silence of my home in Perth. I’ll be honest and say that there is times I wish I could sleep there and then return to London every morning. However, in this noisy large building I’m learning more about myself than I ever have. I’m adapting to an environment that I’ve never had too. I’m overcoming fears and anxieties that I’ve had for years. It’s the learning curve that drives me on…. The knowledge that after this year I’ll be able to look back and say I stepped out of my comfort zone to have some experience of what it feels like to be uncomfortable. London is amazing. On Sunday I had the best ice cream I’ve ever tasted, occasionally I eat the best doughnuts I’ve ever had (made fresh – melt in the mouth) and sometimes I eat these chips – crispy on the outside and fluffy in the centre. But there are aspects of London that make me uncomfortable. The shooting’s, the stabbings, the general way people just don’t look at each other (who can you trust?). Maybe I’ve not made much sense about why I’m here. If so maybe I can say it better. I reckon that experience is everything when working with people. Although you can get a degree to give you the relevant skills, life experience gives you the confidence to put those skills into practice. I feel the higher up the scale of need I work the more I’ll learn (the kids I work with here have put new demands on my skills, something which can only benefit me in my future work).
Oasis are very keen on the idea of mentorship and so very quickly I’ve been given a personal mentor. His names Ally and he’s trained counsellor (don’t worry I think it’s more chance than my actual need for counselling) originally from Edinburgh. Anyway, I had m first meeting with him, which was great. We ate a meal and then went for a pint. The whole thing was very relaxed and he gave me plenty opportunity to talk about any problems I was having (you know, my hair, my style, girl problems etc etc). Ally dropped me back at the institution (home) around 10pm and I went inside feeling very at peace. I always check the mail when I enter the building because we get a bunch of interesting stuff through the post mainly because it used to be a health centre (free drug samples, new receding hair treatments). Anyway, I was just walking to my room when I heard a door creak and I stopped a little freaked by the noise. I stood for sometime waiting for any follow up noise but none came and so I carried on walking to my room. You can imagine that I was a little anxious and was quite keen to get inside my room and lock the door; I’d be safe in there at least. However, as I walked to my door Tim and Pete jumped out in front of me and I screamed…. Screamed like I’d never screamed before. Holding my heart I collapsed to the floor in total shock at what had just happened…. At first, I’m told they thought they’d killed due to my reaction and then when I spoke the tension dropped and they started laughing. It’s the worst fright I’ve ever had and I still haven’t quite recovered. I think if my heart has ever been close to stopping it was then. No doubt this moment will go down in my Oasis Legacy ‘the time we gave Andrew a fright’. Had I died during the experience then it would have been my legacy….
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
J and the giant egg drop
In an earlier blog I talked about J an interesting little character. J could well turn out to be the star of this Blog because it’s never a dull day when he’s around…
I’d been asked by Pete the head youth worker to lead the Wednesday club night for 7 – 11 year olds. I was quite happy to do this and so went about thinking up games, activities etc. I decided to do a game called the giant egg drop; some of you may be familiar with it. Basically, you have to design a capsule that will protect an egg when it is dropped from around 8ft using the materials provided (tissue paper, plastic bottles, string, celotape, straws). It sounded like a great plan because it would focus on the teams working together as a group, something the kids who come are not great at.
J arrived at the centre around 3:50pm and started a fight with a boy called F…. After this incident J calmed down and I have to say that he was one of the star performers in the giant egg drop. Instead of dropping the egg capsules from 8ft (me standing on a chair) we decided to drop them from the balcony that overlooks the games hall, it’s roughly about 20ft (whether anything could protect an egg dropping from that distance was something I didn’t even consider, I knew it would be fun!!) The activity went really well. I had been worried about getting their attention to explain everything but that went fine and the kids seemed pretty excited by the whole thing, which created a great atmosphere. All but one of the capsules was unable to protect the egg inside. The suspense between the capsule dropping and me opening it up to see if the egg had survived was excellent. The kids were totally engaged.
After the giant egg drop we played dodge ball, an energetic game enjoyed by most kids…. Most that is but not J. Sigh, it’s this whole issue of him not being involved. He hates it when nobody passes to him. It’s very difficult to deal with an issue like this because all the kids want to be passed the ball. By continually meeting J’s demands we won’t be doing him any favours. He has to come to terms with team games and dynamics, which is going to take a lot of persistence and patience, but I’ve got plenty of that. J became so agitated by the game that he walked out of the hall, out of the hall beside it where some kids were doing t-shirt painting, out of the reception area and out of the front door onto the street.
I clocked him leaving and walked after him, I was relieved to see that Becky one of the other leaders had also see him go. J was walking fast (I’m not sure where he was going) so I had to run to catch up with him and then I walked along beside him not quite sure what my next move should be. I spoke to him calmly and tried to focus his attention on anything but the issue in hand. He wasn’t having it though. I don’t know J very well at all and so did not feel in a position to use any amount physical force to stop him. With a child in tears and a street full of people I didn’t really know what to do. However, I remember watching ‘brat camp’ last week and when two girls decided to walk off from the group the leader just walked with them knowing that eventually they would stop… I hoped this would happen. Thankfully one of the other mum’s was passing and she grabbed J in a hug asking what had happened. I know her quite well and so I explained about the dodge ball and nobody passing to him. With J still in tears a man then stopped and asked what was wrong (he was quite aggressive in asking) and again we explained…. This man was very accusing in his manner and I felt a little defensive because although J was in tears we were just dealing with a dodgeball issue it wasn’t as if I had done something to upset him.
I’d been asked by Pete the head youth worker to lead the Wednesday club night for 7 – 11 year olds. I was quite happy to do this and so went about thinking up games, activities etc. I decided to do a game called the giant egg drop; some of you may be familiar with it. Basically, you have to design a capsule that will protect an egg when it is dropped from around 8ft using the materials provided (tissue paper, plastic bottles, string, celotape, straws). It sounded like a great plan because it would focus on the teams working together as a group, something the kids who come are not great at.
J arrived at the centre around 3:50pm and started a fight with a boy called F…. After this incident J calmed down and I have to say that he was one of the star performers in the giant egg drop. Instead of dropping the egg capsules from 8ft (me standing on a chair) we decided to drop them from the balcony that overlooks the games hall, it’s roughly about 20ft (whether anything could protect an egg dropping from that distance was something I didn’t even consider, I knew it would be fun!!) The activity went really well. I had been worried about getting their attention to explain everything but that went fine and the kids seemed pretty excited by the whole thing, which created a great atmosphere. All but one of the capsules was unable to protect the egg inside. The suspense between the capsule dropping and me opening it up to see if the egg had survived was excellent. The kids were totally engaged.
After the giant egg drop we played dodge ball, an energetic game enjoyed by most kids…. Most that is but not J. Sigh, it’s this whole issue of him not being involved. He hates it when nobody passes to him. It’s very difficult to deal with an issue like this because all the kids want to be passed the ball. By continually meeting J’s demands we won’t be doing him any favours. He has to come to terms with team games and dynamics, which is going to take a lot of persistence and patience, but I’ve got plenty of that. J became so agitated by the game that he walked out of the hall, out of the hall beside it where some kids were doing t-shirt painting, out of the reception area and out of the front door onto the street.
I clocked him leaving and walked after him, I was relieved to see that Becky one of the other leaders had also see him go. J was walking fast (I’m not sure where he was going) so I had to run to catch up with him and then I walked along beside him not quite sure what my next move should be. I spoke to him calmly and tried to focus his attention on anything but the issue in hand. He wasn’t having it though. I don’t know J very well at all and so did not feel in a position to use any amount physical force to stop him. With a child in tears and a street full of people I didn’t really know what to do. However, I remember watching ‘brat camp’ last week and when two girls decided to walk off from the group the leader just walked with them knowing that eventually they would stop… I hoped this would happen. Thankfully one of the other mum’s was passing and she grabbed J in a hug asking what had happened. I know her quite well and so I explained about the dodge ball and nobody passing to him. With J still in tears a man then stopped and asked what was wrong (he was quite aggressive in asking) and again we explained…. This man was very accusing in his manner and I felt a little defensive because although J was in tears we were just dealing with a dodgeball issue it wasn’t as if I had done something to upset him.
To make matters even worse two policeman suddenly appeared asking me questions “who was I?” and “what had happened?”… I explained who I was and why J was in tears and they told me about their duty of care and how they had to stop. The whole thing just got a bit mad really. Although in hindsight I’m thankful that these people were around to help settle J. Maybe it’s a good example of all the factors are going to have to work together to help J. He’s no doubt difficult but with the right amount of support from youth workers, family and friends and a certain respect for authority (the police) J will be just fine. When we got back to the centre J was sat down by Pete and spoken to about the dangers of leaving the centre. I’d like to think it won’t happen again but with J around you have to be prepared for anything….
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